We always talk about celebrating mother's day with our mum who is still with us, who lives far away from us, who are in prison may be in the hospital, maybe at nursing homes, but what about the deceased? How do the family of the deceased celebrate?
You are so excited that mothers day is approaching, you get overwhelmed with the ideas you have and you go ahead blindly sharing your excitement with your friend about how you plan the moments to be, forgetting she/he doesn't have a mum. After realizing what you have done, guilt builds up.
Maybe you remember what the friend is going through and therefore you don't share the happiness which is utterly not fair since it's your best friend. It's someone you share all your life experience with.
It's so sad and heartbreaking to be in this situation. But it's life and we have to have a way through it.
But the question is, How should our loved ones, who lost their mothers celebrate?, How will you help them celebrate? How will you make yourself comfortable talking about your mum without making your friend uncomfortable? What is the best approach?🤔
TALK TO HER ABOUT THE SITUATION.
You find someplace private, maybe you invite your friend over or you go over. Maybe buy a snack(ice cream, Chocolate, or your friend's favorite snack) to keep the atmosphere calm.
Bring the topic in a respectful and comfortable manner. Get to know how she feels about the situation, know how she would want to spend her day , know how she feels when you bring the topic "mum". If she has not accepted the fact, make her comfortable and give her/him time.
Give them a reason to smile, to celebrate her.
At the same time make her understand the situation you are in. Help her plan what she and maybe the siblings will do on an actual day.
HUG
It's always a comfort zone, makes one be at peace, it brings relief to them, It shows you are there for them, it reduces stress, it heals the negativity and most importantly you build your trust.
INVITE YOUR FRIEND OVER TO CELEBRATE WITH YOU.
You can invite, your friend over.
If both families rhyme so well you can suggest a double family celebration.
SEND A GIFT TO HER.
If you live quite far away from each other, send a gift and a note, so she doesn't feel alone in this.
GIVING HER A HAND AS SHE GOES TO THE GRAVEYARD TO PLACE FLOWERS.
Give her/her the moral support they need.
SURPRISE THEM.
Maybe, the friend hasn't over the fact and likes to isolate themselves when thinking much about something.
Maybe take them to a new adventurous place, maybe take them shopping, maybe take them to their favorite place.
It makes them feel important and loved hence.
SPEND TIME WITH HER ON THE ACTUAL DAY.
You can spare your time to be here on an actual day before continuing with your plans.
REASSURANCE
Reassure him/her that everything will be ok.
Make her know you are always there for her.